Fiction
Fantasy
“You can’t keep stalking me,” Alana said.
Devon stopped several feet from where Alana was seated. He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet. It was no less than sixty outside, but that was still too cold for him. There was a sharp breeze blowing that cut through his clothes and made him shiver. The library’s plaza was always the windiest part of the campus. How did Alana stand it all the time? His butt would freeze on that metal bench. “I’m not stalking you. I just need to talk.”
Alana slammed her textbook shut with a loud bang. “Wherever I am, there you are, even when I’ve told you repeatedly not to be. I’d say that qualifies.”
“I wouldn’t have to keep following you if you would just talk to me. I can fix this. I can fix us.”
Alana stood up and quickly tied her sweater around her waist. She started stuffing her shoulder bag with her books and notes. She isn’t even going to try and listen, Devon thought.
“You can’t,” Alana said. “It was a great five months. I realize that, but it’s over now. You have to move—”
Devon reached out with one hand and grabbed Alana’s shoulder. She froze mid-word and mid-motion. Devon knew that for her it was as if time had ceased to exist. It had been so easy; she hadn’t even been looking at him. She never looked at him anymore.
Devon did a quick sweep of the plaza, making certain no students or faculty had noticed Alana’s odd state. There were just too many people in front of the library. At least, there were some trees and large potted plants. The last thing he needed was for his mom to find out he’d abused his gift. She would eventually, but later was better than sooner. He did not need another lecture on how he was born unique for a reason. What he needed was here. Gently, with both hands, he pushed down on Alana’s shoulders until she was seated once again.
He knelt down for a moment and took her hand in his. He looked up into her frozen green eyes. Her red hair billowed lightly in the wind and strands brushed across her cheeks and lips, reminding him of the last time they had gone swimming. She had splashed him rather thoroughly. She was always in such good spirits, and so little ever got to her. She was so beautiful. He swallowed and prayed he was doing the right thing. He pressed her fingers to his lips. Then he let go. Alana unfroze instantly to lean over and clutch at her head. “Are you all right?” Devon asked.
Alana looked up at him, startled confusion apparent on her face. “Yeah, I guess I got dizzy for a second.” She gave a little laugh and pushed back her hair with both hands. “I didn’t even see you come up.”
Devon pulled his right hand from his pocket and offered it to her. “Name’s Devon.”
She shook his hand. “Alana, a pleasure.”
“Hey, aren’t you in my Foundations of Medieval Lit class?” Devon asked. “I’m headed there now. We could walk there together. You know, in case you get dizzy again.”
Alana laughed. “Sure, we’re sharing the same path anyway.”
Devon found himself grinning from ear to ear. It was so nice to hear her laugh at something he’d said. He’d missed that.
A pair of hands shoved Devon hard. His back connected with the side of the black metal bench. Pain shot through him, and he let out a soft curse before falling and hitting the stone tiles of the ground.
“Didn’t I tell you that the next time I saw you harassing her I’d knock your lights out?”
Devon frowned at the pretty little blonde standing before him and cursed himself for his idiocy. He cast a worried glance at Alana’s shocked expression before forcing himself to his feet.
“Jennifer, what are you doing?” Alana asked.
Jennifer placed both hands on her hips, eyes never leaving Devon. “What best friends are supposed to do. Wanna go for round two?” The last was directed towards him. “I might be small and maybe I sound like a mouse, but I can K. O. with the best of them.”
Alana grabbed Jennifer by the elbow and spun her around. “I asked you to beat up cute boys that I just met?”
Devon leaped forward and grabbed both girls by their arms. The air around them seemed to thicken and crackle. Quickly, he released them both.
Alana groaned and stumbled. “Damn, that’s the second dizzy spell I’ve had today.”
“Maybe something’s going around,” Jennifer said. “I feel like I got hit by a Mack truck. Come on, we’ll miss class.”
“Can’t we use this as an excuse to ditch class?”
“Personally, I think Professor Ying’s reaction to your comment would be worse.”
Devon watched the two disappear with disappointment. He sat down on the now-vacant bench and ripped a clean sheet out of his notebook. Class could wait. He began to compile a list of everyone both he and Alana knew. She had forgotten him once more, and if he was really going to make a third attempt at giving a good first impression, he would have to make history a clean slate. It had been incredibly stupid of him to not remember that there were other people in their lives. He couldn’t just erase her memory of them as a couple; he would have to do so for all their friends.
“Did you say homemade jam?” Alana asked. “I didn’t know you could buy homemade jam, much less make it. Organic or chemical-free, I’m sure, but this. Wow.”
“Actually, it’s raspberry preserves, not jam. There’s a difference.”
“Oh, well. That’s—” she paused. “—different then.”
Devon smiled. Alana was so cute when her eyes got all wrinkled and her face all perplexed. “My mom makes jam, too,” he said. “Just don’t let her catch on that you don’t know one from the other. She’ll adore you after that. She adores you now.” He caught her puzzled look. “You know, based on what I’ve told her,” he covered. “‘’Cause, you two, I doubt you’ll actually be meeting yet anytime soon.” There was some minor truth in that. They wouldn’t be meeting again anytime soon if he could help it.
Devon pulled a jar of the preserves out of the picnic basket and set it beside the toast. “And trust me, you’ll love this stuff.” He really wanted her to try the preserves. He knew she liked them.
“You always seem so certain,” Alana said.
“What’s that?” Devon asked.
“Like the time you asked to see my artwork. Remember? I never even told you I was into photography.”
Devon shrugged, uncomfortably. “Well, you’re able to see the beauty in a lot of normal things. It made sense that you’d pick a hobby to match.”
She gave him a peck on the cheek. “Points for sweetness, but corny.”
Devon pressed a knuckle against the picnic blanket. He proceeded to make a circle. Inside the circle he added two dots and a fallen moon. He repeated the process several more times before realizing he was creating frowny faces. He stopped. “Isn’t it good that I know things?” he asked.
“Hmmmm,” Alana said. She dipped a carrot stick into the peanut butter, took a bite, and swallowed. She waved the half-eaten stick back and forth. “I had an ex right before you. Sweetest guy, but a tad controlling. He always seemed to think he knew everything about me. I’d tell him one thing, and he’d tell me another, insisting all the while that he knew how I felt better than I did. I always had to give it time, he’d say. I gave him five months. After that, time ran out. He finally took a hint right before I met you.” Alana straightened her back and glanced at Devon curiously. “In fact, I think it was the day I met you that I last saw him.”
Devon grabbed a soda and unscrewed the cap with a sharp twist. He knew Alana was referring to her past with him, even if she didn’t realize it, and the topic was one he’d rather avoid. There was no chance of her realizing that Devon and her ex were the same, but this level of forwardness from her regarding the person she thought was her ex was disconcerting. “I’ll try not to know so many things anymore.” He threw his head back and took several deep swallows.
Alana slowly pried the bottle away from him with both hands and set it down. “I didn’t mean to imply you were like my ex,” she said. “You’re always so considerate. He never was. You’re like his complete opposite.” She brushed her thumb against the corner of his mouth, wiping away a trickle of soda. “Besides, you actually do know things. It feels like you do. That says something. My ex was just a jerk.”
Devon flinched.
Alana smiled at him. “You and D are nothing alike.”
“You keep staring at him,” Devon said.
“Who?” Alana asked.
“The guy by the books.”
“This is a library.” She gestured at the rich brown shelves around them and grinned. “Whole lot of books.”
“In call number section PR twenty-eight thirties.”
Alana dipped her head to one side and braced her arms on the sides of her chair. “Why, my darling dearest, are you perchance jealous of Mr. Muscles over there?”
“Mr. Muscles?”
Alana inclined her head toward section PR twenty-eight thirties.
Devon buried his nose back in his notes. “Well, you do keep looking.”
Alana leaned further back in her seat and used her feet to tip her chair, affording her an even better view. “That’s because there’s something to look at,” she teased. Her chair barely made a noise as it banged back into position on the soft carpet. Alana batted her eyes at Devon; a hint of a smile touched her lips. “Why? Am I making you jealous?”
“Maybe you should dump me and ask him out,” Devon said. “Isn’t it time for boy-toy number three?”
Alana’s smile dipped into a frown. Her eyes narrowed perceptibly. All traces of humor erased. Crap, Devon realized. He was doing it again.
“Excuse me?” Her tone was cool, only bordering on thin ice.
Devon sighed and smiled in what, he hoped, appeared to be good nature. “Don’t try telling me that if you weren’t dating me you wouldn’t be asking out Mr. Muscles.”
“I am dating you,” Alana’s voice was ice.
“I know you like him.”
“I really don’t. I like you. At least, I used to.” She was looking at him in a way Devon was all too familiar with and had not at all missed. “You’re right.” Devon went back to his notes and ignored the hole he could feel his girlfriend’s eyes drilling into him. “I don’t know anything.”
The hall was crowded with students transitioning from one class to another. They should have been difficult to spot in a sea of four hundred exiting an auditorium, even if Devon hadn’t been looking. Still, somehow Devon managed to zero in on them.
Mr. Muscles’s hand was on the small of Alana’s back. He was helping her adjust something, a strap on her bag. He’d probably messed with it in the first place. Fiercely, Devon shoved the thought down. Devon wasn’t going to play the part of jealous boyfriend again. He refused. But why did Mr. Muscles need to touch Alana’s back just to fix a strap? Devon forced himself to wait patiently for Alana’s approach.
“Hey,” she said brightly. She wrapped her elbows behind Devon’s neck and gave him a quick peck on the nose. “Waiting long?”
“So what were you and call number guy talking about?” Idiot, Devon chided himself.
Alana frowned, but quickly put on a plastic smile. “He was helping me with my bag.”
“Yeah, I noticed. I think he might have been helping a little too much.”
Her arms dropped. “What is with you?”
Devon leaned against the red brick wall and averted his eyes. “I’m sorry. You two just seem really buddy-buddy.”
“The drama society is putting together a production of Romeo and Juliet. Larry’s a member of the society. He offered us free tickets.” Alana waved her hand back and forth indicating the space between them. “Us, not me. Us.”
“Larry.”
“That’s his name.”
“You know Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy. That should say something about his offer.”
“This jealous act was cute at first. Endearing, even, but now you’re just being a jerk.” Alana shoved Devon aside and started walking.
A sliver of fear pierced through the jealousy. It was happening all over again. Devon ran after her, pushing other students in the hallway aside as he did so. He grabbed Alana and spun her around before she could push open the double doors of the stairwell. “I’m not your ex. I’m nothing like him. You said so.” He tried hard to control the tremble in his voice.
Alana yanked away. “Well, you’re beginning to act a lot like him. Leave me alone.” She ran past him. Devon started to follow again but halfway down the stairs he stopped. She’d asked to be alone. He leaned over the rail in shock, unable to make his feet move, and watched as Alana got smaller and smaller until she vanished. She didn’t realize it yet, but he knew. It was over.
Devon stopped several feet from where Alana was seated. They were outside the library plaza, right where everything kept stopping and right where everything kept starting again. This was appropriate somehow.
“Hey,” Alana said.
She sounded tired. He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet. Then he took out one hand and offered it to her, his version of a white flag. “I just came to say goodbye.”
Alana stood up slowly from the black metal bench, ignoring his outstretched hand. He let it drop to his side. “Where are you going?” she asked.
He rubbed the toe of his sneaker back and forth against the grey stone tiles. “Not far, but I don’t think you should expect to see me again.”
“Devon, we had a good run. I know it ended badly, but that doesn’t mean you have to cut yourself off.”
“Now who’s telling who how they should feel?” Devon allowed himself a small smile.
“We can still be friends.”
“I don’t think I can. You and D aren’t.”
Alana shook her head. “I told you, he was a jerk and a stalker.”
“That’s me in a pinch,” Devon said.
“You’re not making any sense.”
Devon took a deep breath. How to explain? He glanced up and looked past the wavy lines of Alana’s hair. The red brick walls of the library and a smattering of trees with flowers just beginning to blossom stared back at him. Seasons changed, but everything ended up the same somehow. “I don’t want to become D, and if I stay, I will.”
“You could never be,” Alana said.
“Remember how I always know stuff?” Devon asked.
“Yeah.”
“I know you’re wrong.”
Alana shook her head again, disbelieving.
“Good luck to you and Larry,” Devon said.
Alana took Devon’s hand in hers. He wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed. She squeezed back. “Thanks, that means a lot,” she said.
There was an awkward moment of silence as Devon steeled himself to do what he needed to do. “You still haven’t told me where you’re going,” Alana said.
“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on transferring over you.”
“That’s good. So maybe I will see you on campus.”
Devon shook his head.
Alana stepped forward. Devon wrapped his arms tightly around her and buried his face in her hair, smelling the sweet scent of her fruity shampoo. “Thank you for the best year of my life,” he whispered.
Alana laughed. “We’ve only been dating six months,” she said.
Devon held on tightly for another full second, not bothering to explain, and then Alana went stiff. Slowly, Devon extricated himself from her arms. Very gently, he sat her back down on the bench. He looked at her billowing red hair and blue eyes. She was so lovely. “Not exactly,” he finally replied. Devon pulled away.
Alana clutched at her head and groaned.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Alana looked up at him, startled confusion apparent on her face. “Yeah, I guess I got dizzy for a second.” She gave a little laugh and pushed back her hair with both hands. “I didn’t even see you come up.”
“You should get yourself checked out.”
“Yeah, maybe.” She extended a hand. “My name’s Alana.”
Devon reached out and hesitated. He pulled his hand back. “Listen, I have to run to class, but it was nice meeting you.”
“Likewise,” Alana said. “See you around?”
“Not likely,” Devon said. He smiled sadly, turned his back on her confused expression, and proceeded to walk away from the plaza. When he turned around to give one last wave goodbye, Alana was already gone.
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Copyright 2009, Susan Tsui. All rights reserved. Susan Tsui is currently working on her M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Goddard College. She was a former recipient of the Eugene M. Lang Scholarship and has been writing on and off for most of her life. She currently resides in New York.
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